Did you know that women could have more than one kind of orgasm? Yep, not only are the lucky creatures the owner of the only body part dedicated solely to arousal and sexual pleasure (the love button – aka the clitoris), and able to have multiple orgasms with no down time to recharge, women are also able to have several different types of orgasms from genital stimulation.
Let me break away here for a moment and note that both men and women have the capacity to experience full body orgasms (where men learn to orgasm throughout their entire body without ejaculating, meaning they don’t experience the “down” period of tiredness ejaculation brings on) but that will be the subject of a different article (don’t’ worry, I’m hot on the case doing research).
G-spot And Orgasms
So back to girls and the different types of genital orgasms they can experience. Just about all-genital arousal for women starts with the clitoris; so ignore this magnificent bundle of nerves at your own peril. However, once a woman is fully aroused via clitoral stimulation, you can either add or switch (depending on the woman’s preference) to different types of genital stimulation for variations on the orgasmic bang.
Which brings us to the much wondered about “G-Spot.” While scientist and sexuality experts still
argue whether the spot actually exists, regular people are quietly (and not so quietly) going about seeking it out and all the pleasurable possibilities it can ignite in their love lives.
Getting to the G-Spot
Okay, so let’s get down to the “G-Spot” basics. First off, the name comes from a Dr. Grafenberg who wrote about this special area of a woman’s anatomy back in the 1950’s - it’s not, however, necessarily a spot. On his website doctorg.org Dr. Gary Schubach, a sex educator and writer, quotes from Grafenberg’s originally published study in order to argue for the existence of the sensitive area and gives a very good explanation of what could be going on:
“Grafenberg does not refer to the G-spot as ‘a small but allegedly highly sensitive area on the anterior wall of the human vagina about a third of the way up from the vaginal opening,’ but to the ‘area’ or ‘zone’ on the upper wall of the vagina through which the prostate (aka Skene`s glands and ducts) can be accessed. In women, the prostate gland, while generally smaller than the male prostate, also surrounds the urethra, close to the urethral opening. The great sensitivity comes not from what is on the upper wall of the vagina, but from glands and ducts behind the vaginal wall.”
It’s very important to pay attention to the fact that the sensitive “G-zone” is apparently behind the vaginal wall as well as the fact that this area isn’t sensitive to stimulation unless a woman is already aroused.
So yes, your girl needs to be totally hot and bothered before you let your fingers do the walking to discovery because otherwise you’re going to come up (pardon the pun) dry. In fact, it’s best if she’s already had at least one orgasm before you go on your search just to make sure she’s totally ready. It’s also important to note that the “G-zone” often needs quite strong stimulation in order to trigger any pleasurable response. These two previous reasons, plus the tricky location, explain why the “G-zone” is so challenging for women to both find and trigger on their own.
It’s great to be needed!
Triggering the G-Spot
So your gal is all hot and bothered, all wet and ready, and now you’re ready to venture forth and see what you can make happen. It’s a good idea to move forward with the idea of “finding pleasure zones in her vagina” rather than getting yourselves stuck on the idea that you will find the G-Spot and it will trigger such an amazing mind blowing orgasm that your gal will weep with the ecstasy of it all.
Don’t get me wrong, that would be a wonderful thing to make happen, but in my experience in dealing with this tricky area it’s more of a process of discovery rather than an immediate eureka! What I mean by this is that in the women who have learned to have orgasms triggered this way find the G-Spot often becomes more sensitive and able to trigger an orgasm over time and, well, use.
Think of it like a muscle, if it hasn’t been used in a long time, or ever, how effective is it going to be the first time it’s called to action?
And of course, it’s important to note that not all women are going to respond to stimulation in this area – and with some women you’re going to find a totally different area in her vagina that’s super sensitive to stimulation that you never new about before.
So it’s important to spend time discovering her magnificent cave and all that’s going on in there.
With this in mind, and with your woman all turned on, she needs to do two things before you can get down to business:
1) She needs to empty her bladder before you begin as you’re going to be stimulating an area close to her bladder and it often makes her feel like she needs to pee when first stimulated. If she’s nice and empty beforehand she won’t be worried about possible leaks.
The G-Spot Needs Easy Access
2) She needs to be in a comfortable position, as do you, and of course one that allows you easy access to the G-Spot. Two good positions are in a big comfortable chair, facing you, with you sitting on the floor in front of her – this way you have access to her clit with your other hand, and your mouth. The second good position is with her lying on her stomach, hips elevated with a pillow, legs wide so you can have easy access to her – and again you might want to be sitting on the ground.
It’s important not to rush forward into fingering her, which might be the thing you’re so use to doing. Instead insert one or two fingers and gently but firmly press against the front wall of her vagina. Starting about an inch or so up start making “come here” motions with your fingers against her vagina, or if that doesn’t feel good to her, press firmly moving your way up. You’re looking for an area that is either swollen or a very different texture (one friend of mine said it felt like the ridges on the roof of your mouth just behind your front teeth). Once you hit this area try the come-hither motion, or pressing and rubbing, while at the same time giving her (or she can take charge of this) clitoral stimulation.
The goal is to try and transfer the pleasure from just clitoral stimulation to a combo of clitoral and G-Spot stimulation. This is why it’s a good reason to have her handle her clitoris herself, as she feels new pleasurable sensations in her G-Spot she can back off her clitoris and enjoy what you’re doing…but it’ll be give and take. Remember this is a learning process – but one that will definitely be worth it!